Submitted by douwantahug
I am increasingly uncomfortable by the definition of pansexuality as “regardless of gender.” The “gender-blind” concept, if you will. It reeks of erasure and cis-privilege (for those pansexual cis folks like me).
This picture is 100% incorrect. “Bi” means “two”; “bisexual” means “attracted to TWO genders”. Pansexuality isn’t attraction “regardless of gender”, it’s attraction “to any and all genders”. The missing link here is “polysexual”, which means “attraction to multiple genders”, and is the true umbrella term.
This is another reason why some cis, hypothetically pansexual folks like me define ourselves only as “queer”.
^ Commentary. Would have written if I did not despise this on-screen keyboard. Thank you.
I understand that there are a few people who identify as bisexual, and think us pansexuals and polysexuals are pretentious, but the majority of bisexual people (ie 99% of fuckyeahbisexuals submissions) say they are attracted to “both” genders/sexes or “guys AND girls”.
Bi means two. I don’t know why this is such a controversial issue. I realised I was pansexual when I realised that intersex, genderqueer etc people don’t fit into the binary, and I don’t care. A handful of bisexual people can redefine bisexual to mean polysexual, but polysexual and pansexual exist, and bisexual (as it is) is a valid sexual orientation - but I’m not bi.
And yes, I agree about “regardless of gender” as well. I’ve seen crap that said “regardless of gender or sexual orientation” I don’t even know WTF some people are talking about. Pansexuality is sexual attraction to ALL genders/sexes.
“bi means two” isn’t a valid reason for saying that “bisexual means you’re attracted to two genders: men and women.” words constantly evolve over time, and bisexual has many more interpretations than that one. and the bisexual community thru history has consistently been the most accepting of trans folks as far as L, G, and B go. i don’t think you’ve actually done a study to find that 99% of bi people are attracted to men and women. just because some people use that to describe themselves doesn’t mean that’s how it is for everyone, or even for most bisexuals. if you ask me, the words pansexual, omnisexual, etc. only came about because people outside the community started criticizing bi folks for erasing the trans community, and the non-monosexual community got tired of defending itself. i will continue to identify as bisexual because it fits for me, and i am also attracted to all genders. please don’t try to tell me who i’m attracted to, or what my sexual orientation “actually” is.
i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: if pansexual fits you better than bisexual, then AWESOME. this infighting is getting real tiring. let’s just define our own sexuality for ourselves and respect others’ definitions of their own identity, and stop trying to understand things we don’t really need to understand. just respect, people.
LGBT terminology seems to be constantly changing. Which I suppose makes a lot of sense: when any person or group attempts to define something as fluid and personal as sexual preference, it seems logical that a large variety of terms would be present. However, due to the sheer complexity of human sexuality, I feel that the community should be a little bit more understanding when it comes to someone misunderstanding a definition, especially considering that two different people may both identify under one label (pansexual, polysexual, etc.) but still have slightly different preferences. Correcting someone when you feel that they’ve made a mistake in understanding a basic, fundamental element of a sexual classification? Totally justified. Explaining to someone why a certain definition does not exactly fit how you view your sexual identity? Totally fine. Accusing someone of ignorance, hate-mongering, [something]phobia or attempting to profit off of a skewed and inaccurate definition, without even taking a moment to consider that they may have just made an honest mistake? That’s the kind of shit that makes people throw their hands in the air and give up at best or write off the entire LGBT community as oversensitive and pretentious.* Sorry for the rant. I guess this just represents one of the biggest issues I have with the LGBT movement atm.
*Note: I do not think that having these definitions or wanting your sexual identity to be recognized as legitimate is somehow asking for too much. I do not want people to sit down and shut up. I just want everyone to be civilized and polite and treat one another like human beings.
(1) i would like to point out that i wasn’t accusing anyone of ignorance or hate-mongering. biphobia is everywhere, and people in the bi/pan/omni/non-monosexual community have internalized biphobia, which i also try to point out.
(2) people get bent out of shape when i don’t sugarcoat things. when your identity is misunderstood and erased every day, you have a right to be irritated and to say something about it. i think people can handle it.
(3) if you love someone, you should be able to tell them what’s up, respectfully, which i did. i would LOVE to see bi and pan people come together with love. that’s what i’m working on here.
Haha this was much much less in response to you and more in response to the person, above, who said that the above definition “reeks of erasure and cis-privilege,” which seemed like a bit of an extreme reaction to me. I was attempting to build off of a point you made, actually: that the in-fighting and “nuh uh, nuh uh, nuh uh” is getting *really* old, and that fighting over who is more oppressed or enlightened or what have you is simply petty as all get-out.
right on. keep building :)
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